


Baby Fever

by surrealmeme



Category: Naruto
Genre: Crack, M/M, everyone wants the uzumaki-uchiha baby, naruto and sasuke are married, sakura is happily over sasuke, sasuke is mildly triggered because, the rinnegan doeS NOT WORK LIKE THAT
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-11
Updated: 2017-09-11
Packaged: 2018-12-26 10:40:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 551
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12057294
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/surrealmeme/pseuds/surrealmeme
Summary: “Oh my god, did you hear?” a middle-aged woman gossiped. “Uzumaki Naruto and Uchiha Sasuke are going to have a baby!”





	Baby Fever

            “Oh my god, did you hear?” a middle-aged woman gossiped. “Uzumaki Naruto and Uchiha Sasuke are going to have a baby!”

            “That’s impossible,” scoffed her companion. “Just where did you hear that?”

            “I was in the hospital visiting my niece – Naoko, the chuunin – and I overheard Haruno Sakura talking about it with the Fifth Hokage.”

            “Let’s say you really did,” said the second woman, raising an eyebrow. “But how would that even work? It’s biologically impossible for two men to conceive a child.”

            “That’s why Uzumaki-san’s going to use one of his shadow clones and transform it into a woman. He has more than enough chakra for a clone to do nothing all day?”

            “A day? Sure,” said the second woman. “But nine months? I doubt it. Besides, being pregnant is _not_ doing nothing all day.”

            “ _That’s_ why Haruno-san and the Fifth were talking! They were trying to figure out how to expedite the gestation.”

            “Whatever you say, Aiko-chan.”

+++

            The rumor spread throughout the entire village in a matter of days, until there wasn’t a single soul that didn’t know about the Uzumaki-Uchiha baby, and the stories grew even wilder:

            “I hear the snake sage – you know, the one that tried to destroy Konoha – is gonna come help with the science and some experimental medical procedures.”

            “Orochimaru _is_ the one that trained the Uchiha, after all.”

            Other people focused on what the baby’s lineage could mean:

            “Have you heard the stories about the Rinnegan? Only those with Uchiha and Senju chakra can awaken it.”

            “I’ve heard rumors that Uzumaki Naruto is the reincarnation of Senju Hashirama.”

            “And that Uchiha Sasuke awakened the Rinnegan during the war.”

            “That child could be born with a Rinnegan – imagine that level of power.”

+++

            Naturally, as Konoha was a small, self-contained village, the rumors found their way to those they concerned.

            “Just how stupid are they?” Sasuke exploded. “Do they actually think someone can just be _born_ with the Rinnegan? You have to develop the Sharingan up to the Eternal Mangekyou before you can even _try_ to awaken the Rinnegan! Even the Rikudou Sennin had to awaken his Sharingan first.”

            “Sasuke, how did people even start to think that we were gonna have a kid? We never even talked about it once,” Naruto pointed out.

            “Probably just some middle-aged ladies with nothing better to do taking something they heard way out of context,” Sasuke said, remembering the snippets of a conversation he had overheard:

            Sakura had asked Sasuke what he would do about reviving his clan, now that he was married to Naruto. After a significant amount of thought, Sasuke responded that he no longer wished to carry on his bloodline. Powerful as it may be, the Sharingan was ultimately a curse he would not wish to pass onto his own blood.

            Sakura had then nodded and left to take care of another patient, leaving Sasuke in his hospital bed, from which he vaguely heard Sakura and Tsunade discussing how relieved they were that Sasuke had no intentions of having a child.

            “I don’t think even _Naruto_ has enough chakra for that,” Sakura had said.

            “Hell, I’d even consider bringing Orochimaru in, seeing as he’s the one that managed to create that ‘child’ of his,” Tsunade had admitted, mildly horrified.

            Clearly, the logistics were a nightmare.


End file.
